I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. }); " George Carlin 15. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. This made him outstanding. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. They own all the important land. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. Save the planet! Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. Forget the politicians. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. You have no choice. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. It takes up a lot of your time. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. window.csa("Config", { It will not be with jack-boots. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. He's the subject of a new documentary. "Never argue with an idiot. Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # [.] Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. BAM! It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . Really? I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. there's no such thing as rights. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. In America, anyone can become president. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Save the planet? When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. setDisplayBids: function() {}, No money to be made off of the homeless. "Events.Namespace": "csa", George Carlin. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); The 5 By 5 Rule To Reduce Stress, Anxiety And Worry, The 5 Minute Rule Become Emotionally Invincible, The Curse Of Knowledge: How To Avoid Sabotaging Your Success, Fear-setting: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals, Top 5 Lessons Learned After She Read 500 Self-Help Books, Revealed: How 50 Cent Made Millions With Vitamin Water, Top 10 Business Tips From Billionaire Carlos Slim Hel, 69 Larry Page Quotes To Be A Successful Entrepreneur, 49 Successful Millionaire And Billionaire College Dropouts, Rocky Balboa Motivational Speech By Sylvester Stallone, Walt Disney Was Fired & Rejected 300 Times Failure To Success, Limiting Beliefs: How To Identify And Overcome Them, 77 Frank Zappa Quotes On Life, Government & Music, 101 Vince Lombardi Quotes To Win The Game Of Life, 78 Abraham Maslow Quotes To Max Out Your Potential, 37 Rosa Parks Quotes To Stand Up For Your Freedom, 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life, 31 NoFap Benefits That Will Change Your Life, How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain For Negativity, Anxiety & Depression, 11 Simple Self-Esteem Boosters That Will Change Your Life, I Am Enough A Simple Habit That Will Change Your Life, 15 Reasons Why You Should Stop Watching Porn. Its totally FREE. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. The table is tilted, folks. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Thank you! And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Lists. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. And fight songs. [CDATA[ Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. if (a[a9]) return; Source; . October 29, 2004. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. We havent tried that for a while. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. if(cookiePair[0] === name) { Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. Well, we know what they want. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. George Carlin 13. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. How are YOU going to tackle today? }); Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. George Carlin. The planet is fine. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. They own you. George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast Who the fuck is going to invade the US? Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. if (isRetina) { We made 'em up. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. George Carlin. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. It always has been. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Are these people kidding? } Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. Period. And the supreme arrogance? } Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. You should die first, get it out of the way. They own you. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics stylesheet.href = url; They own all the important land. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. They own everything. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! }, function q(c, r) { I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. We havent tried that for a while. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { The only country that could invade America is America! He was an American standup comedian. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy // page settings The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. . _Q: [] George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. A = p.createElement(s); I hate groups of people. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. The future will soon be a thing of the past. }); }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); })(); The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. gads.src = (useSSL ? Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Your email address will not be published. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Thats the problem. The people are f***ed. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Whats that, a bonus? "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. googletag.enableServices(); And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Laugh often, long and loud. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. //
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