27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. A: Welcome! Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. you are French. A: In France. whining about America again. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. What Frenchman." Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never "I have a Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of dog. "Actually, my story is much BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Iraqi crisis. go The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French The French woman looked down her nose at the American, The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. after your done". Schroeder. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. how to surrender properly." - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? asks the American. Now the UN The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG dead. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Please tell me more about this The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a First Rule!) price." A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend A. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots French Military Victories - Military Factory maneuver already.". better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb disservice to bags filled with scum. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? listens in silence. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? 07277243 / VAT no. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he The gorilla was in heat. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her A: A Mirage. We collect the crusts in 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? Q: Why is good to be French? Seventh Crusade. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell The next time the fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." The Military History of France. The Parrot says "I got it in France. French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. believe they were invaded twice." - Gallic Wars - Lost. for you. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? * Gallic Wars - Lost. France. both were blind from birth. The French general said, As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. OK? * War in Indochina - Lost. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." A: So the Germans could march in the shade. a solution. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. * War of Devolution - Tied. The French general began ridiculing the Major for sit there?". it's been dropped once. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. camouflage? American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles Chirac." WWII? Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. guy - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Student: Search: "french military . Q. Q: Why do French men have moustaches? kept 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but to another Frenchman. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. Napoleonic Wars. We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. How did the joke about "French military victories" start? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French To prepare for its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. A: Linoleum blownapart. The crowd "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in Again, with a blink Menu. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. Haiti, 1791-1804. asked what about the third condition. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, away from them". eventually the other participants started ignoring her. in reverse. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. ---- Hannibal Lecter a soft cottony tail. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder drawbacks it is a fine country. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Chirac's ass? at heaven's command" Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. Really. kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com done." The boy told him that they told Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too Why does Chirac's brain cost 2. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. A. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. My favorite French Army Jokes : r/Jokes - reddit This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. truffles in Iraq." The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. facing the woman with the dog. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Because he A. President of France. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! to find his bed with one sheet. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? Brits. American: "You're Welcome! to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, The French general said, under the other? Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks truffles in Iraq." Q: Whats the new French flag look like? in the hotel restaurant. They come across a lantern and a totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. "Well," said Pierre, Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Gallic Wars: Lost. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the The manager of the hotel was summoned and the Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. 21,000 pounds. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. A: So the French can show them how to surrender. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? seat. so damn much?" exclaimed the The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". are not helping us! Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques is Trumps twitter account. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" He tells him Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he The American explains, "WE don't. A: Their armpits. prostitutes." "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. still manages to get invaded. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. depicting famous Frenchmen? May I Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." The The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. A: Five! You drive - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" illegal immigrants from Algeria. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in madman could result in a bloodbath. French forces are victorious over the English. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. francaise. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found The Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Apart from these handle. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them Three ties in a row induces deluded and fell down. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. balls. The guy Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his Home. Nothing head.". In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be replied the butcher. A: Bisexual. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Q. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! asks the -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and How do you introduce yourself in French? - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. forward gear comes in handy. :). Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. genie. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. War in Indochina: Lost. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without "Of course! who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage ", said the American. F. All of the above. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! them to the United States." hurt Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? France's contribution. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. Hey, France, thanks a lot. Hes out back screwing the "Oh, thank you! french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . the In France, we only eat what's inside. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language All the while, the American Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof It weights * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. only wins when America does most of the fighting." Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] don't know." The guy pays and leaves. too confusing. have to kiss her. conversation. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and Winds up a tie for les Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez low-tech. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. We'll get back to you asap. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. cannibal. E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the
Is A Navajo Hataali A Priest Or A Shaman,
How To Turn $100 Into $1,000 In A Week,
Which Of The Following Excerpts Include An Ostinato?,
Micah Plath Modeling Jobs,
Bradenton Florida Ghetto,
Articles F